The Geek’s Guide to Getting Down Vol. 1 (A Brief Introduction)
Jul 2010 18

The Geek’s Guide to Getting Down Vol. 1 (A Brief Introduction)

Posted In Blog,Favorites,Geek

by Bob Suicide

It’s widely known that “us” Geeks are prominent enough and important enough to warrant an entire culture unto ourselves. Vast fortunes have been made in the tech industry by attempting to appeal to and follow the movement of our very own: Geek Culture. Like the Greeks before us, we have left a deep imprint on every facet of general society. Movies, magazines, music…it’s safe to say (and it’s okay to cringe when you say it) Geek is [now] chic.

Now, I bet you’re saying, “But Bob-o, I thought this blog was gonna be about ‘gettin’ down’ or ‘gettin’ busy.’ How come I just read several sentences full of high-level cultural analysis and never once got to grope a boob?”  You’re right in asking, but the point of the assertions above comes down to this: geeks are good, geeks are great…but you can’t build a culture by man alone.

So many facets of “geek society” are designed to appeal strictly to a male audience, to the point of excluding or offending their female counterparts. Meaning that the girls who make up this faction of geeks and nerds are often called to defend or prove our dedication to the culture or “community of geek.”  Or are alienated from it to the point that even the most well-placed pick up line referencing her beauty in comparison to an Orion Slave Girl is sure to fall flat.

As a result, the number one thing to learn about wooing the more tech-savvy-lady is to never challenge our “geek cred.”

I often find myself playing, “who’s nerdier” with random people I meet at conventions like E3 and ComicCon and 9 times out of 10 I win.  Now, I’m not wrangled into this game by choice…It’s more often a challenge or a trial by fire in order to be let into the “inner sanctum” of that particular convention conversation.

While winning those 9 times should warrant me some sort of XBL achievement; I’m still faced with the hurdle of “listing my all-time favorite games/comics/movies” or “elaborate/critique on what I’m currently playing/reading/watching.”  It gets old and sometimes I think I should carry a prepared statement that can be read before “a girl” enters the conversation.

Including us into your techie discussion (or LARP team) without challenge or critique of the way we administer the secret geek handshake (What do you mean you don’t know the secret geek handshake?) is the first step on the way to our heart–or our pants (the off-ramps to both are next to each other on the highway of the female geek interchange).  Don’t make female nerds feel like they have to build up their hp just to earn their place next to you…make us feel like you’ve finally found us in that “other castle” and we’re the super-secret ending to your amazing search for Co-op mode.

To quote a prominent figure in the feminine geek movement Cherry Vega, “yes, we do exist and we’re limited edition.”

So, as much as you love that original pressing of the Marvel vs Capcom 2 and remember all of the horrible, unspeakable things you had to do in order to add it to your collection…be ready do do the same to acquire your very own Geeky Girl.

More about the ways to woe the women are soon to come…

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