Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue
Dec 2011 08

Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue

Posted In All Things SG,Blog,Booze,Food & Drink,Love,Relationships,Sex,Society

by Laurelin

The internet. It’s everywhere, connecting everything all the time. People don’t need to shop outside the house anymore, you can just order whatever you want from the internet and have it delivered. Clothes, shoes, groceries and…men? I have been aware of internet dating for a few years now, and I always turned up my nose at the thought of it. Seriously, if you can’t get out into the world and meet and connect with someone on your own than you probably should stop trying.

That’s an ignorant thing to say, I’m acutely aware of that now. Not everyone is [un] lucky enough to be in bars every night where members of the opposite sex are foaming at the mouth and leaving phone numbers scribbled on beer soaked cocktail napkins. But the other day I got to thinking. Maybe I have been going about this all wrong. I know I tend to meet the same type of guy over and over again at bars: young party types with more muscles than brains. Internet dating, while a product of a technological world, seems to take dating back to basics: conversation and actually getting to know someone.

After a talk with a girlfriend about her experiences in the world on online dating, I wound up joining a site that was basically just another app for my iPhone. My girlfriends and I started off my just browsing the guys just like we would online shop. Look at this one, ooooh, look at that one, he’s tall, cute, this one has a good job, this one has pictures of his cat. It was quite addicting. Soon we were getting a few messages a day and spending nights at work reading them and giggling. People have no shame online; some of the messages were dirty, some had poetry, some were simple and to the point. Some actually made me laugh, and one day I found myself replying, and before I knew it I was getting to know this… stranger.

He was nothing like me, and was like no one I would ever normally meet in a bar. Messaging back and forth online, we got to know a little about one another, answering questions that should have come out right away with other boyfriends but that never came up while we were too busy chugging beer and sleeping in. Then this guy asked the inevitable question– want to meet in person? I froze. I don’t know. Was it safe? I HATE DATING. I don’t even like going on dates with people I sort of know. As social of a person as I am, just the though of an actual date with someone I’m trying to get to know is more terrifying than bungee jumping into the grand canyon.

I took a breath and clicked reply. “Yes,” I said. “Let’s meet for coffee.” (Coffee?! Coffee?! It’s not beer!! What do I do?!) So we did. The day before Thanksgiving I found myself sitting in a coffee shop in Harvard Square, awaiting a stranger. He came, and he was just like his pictures. Tall, cute, and so nice. He was in grad school and had just moved to Boston, we came from similar families and while there was sometimes a lull in the conversation we managed to get through about an hour before deciding to part ways. I have never been more proud of myself, thinking outside the box and making myself take a leap into the unknown to try something new and scary.

I don’t think that the whole experience was exactly for me, but I did learn that I can see why it’s for a lot of people. It makes a lot of sense now, and it’s kind of nice to know that in the future should I want to meet someone new I can always try it again. But for now, I gratefully turn back to my safe bar scene, and the comforts of a fully stocked bar to help me get through conversation. I don’t think I want to date anyone for a while, whether in the digital or the analogue. The guys I meet normally, the young and muscled, the hipsters, the career bartenders, they are what I need right now. They’re all helping me get over a heartbreak that, after trying to date someone new, I’ve come to realize is still a bit too fresh. I need some more time I guess, and probably another martini…

***

Related Posts:
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Apologies and Other Useless Utterances
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Liquid Running
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Anger and Other Mostly Useless Emotions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: One of the Guys
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Case of the Crazies
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Unsettled
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boys of Summer
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Play On Playa’
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Naked Laurelin Reading
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Healthy Relationships are for Boring People and Other Mishaps
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Letting Go
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist?
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Getting Naked With Laurelin
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Seven Days and Seven Nights of Sobriety
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it’s Time to Move On
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The End of Four Loko As We Know It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boston’s Top 5 Dives

0 comments

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Posts: Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  2. [...] Posts: Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  3. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  4. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  5. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  6. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  7. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  8. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  9. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  10. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  11. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  12. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  13. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  14. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  15. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  16. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  17. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  18. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  19. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  20. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  21. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  22. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]

  23. [...] Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter [...]