Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony
Dec 2011 12

Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony

Posted In All Things SG,Blog,Love,Relationships,Sex,Society

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Sassie, Tita, and Setsuka

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Sassie in Postern]

Q: I think I want to break up with my girlfriend. Yeah, I know it’s a shitty time to break up with her, but I was kind of like this last Christmas and put it off because of the time of year.

In a nut shell, me and my misses are okay, but it’s just her depression that pisses me off. She’s been fine for ages and then the closer it gets to Christmas the worse she gets. She’s been let go from her job because of all the time she’s had off in the short time since she started the job, and now she just sits in and mopes around all day every day. She says her mood is fine, she just doesn’t feel well, but she’s been like this for too long and it’s fucking annoying me. I’ve got a lot more stuff to be depressed about than her yet I struggle on past the pain and tears. I really don’t know what to do.

I feel shitty breaking up with her at Christmas and while she’s feeling down, but I’ve tried too hard to help her and feel like I’m doing all the effort and she just doesn’t give a shit! She says she doesn’t want to lose me over the way she is with her depression. The last time this happened I told her and she bucked up her ideas and things got better, but I really don’t want to have to keep repeating myself and have her go in circles.

A: Where do I begin? Obviously things aren’t “okay” if you’ve been feeling like breaking up with your girlfriend for over a year, and have found excuses to put it off. You say her depression “pisses you off,” however, depression is a medical condition – she can’t control the chemicals in her brain. If she had cancer would it piss you off? Because that’s pretty much what you’re saying.

You should be encouraging her to get help. You should be her support system. And instead you’re here complaining about it. The holiday season is particularly tough on those prone to depression. Also, there is such a thing as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and that may be why she gets worse in the winter. It can also have physical affects which is why she doesn’t feel well. Now, I’m obviously not a doctor, but she probably needs professional help if you’re saying it’s so bad that it’s affecting her job too.

Some people are stronger than others, and you’re saying that you’re one of them, so why can’t you be strong for her too? I mean, if you really cared for this girl, that wouldn’t even be a question! What have you actually done to help her? It may seem like she doesn’t give a shit, but she obviously cares for you if she’s aware that it’s affecting your relationship, whether she shows it or not. It’s incredibly hard to think rationally when you’re depressed, so even you asking her to give a shit may seem like a huge task at the time.

You cannot just tell someone to “shape up or ship out” when they’re depressed. In my opinion, that is one of the worst things that you can say. Sure, let me just go into my brain and adjust my serotonin levels so that you can stop being annoyed with me! Really dude? The reality of it is it will probably always go in circles. That is the nature of depression. One day you’re fine, and the next day you’re not. It sounds like you can’t handle it. And you probably don’t deserve this girl if that’s the way you’re treating her. So break it off already.

Sassie

***


[Tita in West Coast]

Q: I have a rather long situation here. It all started about a year ago. I was working at a local Mexican food place. I met a woman there. I say that cause she is 38 and I am 29. Not much of an age difference. So we get to talking and we get along, cracking jokes, some NSFW. Then she gets fired and I don’t see her again until about a month ago. We saw each other in a local bar, had a few, caught up on things and exchanged numbers. We texted each other and met up at the bar again the next weekend. We hung out, drink, I watched her play pool, and we kissed a few times. Then we went to eat after a night of drinking. Then some drama happens. She ended up crying. I comforted her. Before we left to go home we stood in the parking lot and I held her. Everything seemed to be going well.

Then, the last time we hung out, she said some things that really got me all twisted up. She confessed to me that she doesn’t get with “good guys” like me cause she doesn’t want to get attached and then have something “as always” come along and mess it up. I didn’t know what to say. She told me that a big fear of hers is that a good guy would be right in her face and she wouldn’t know it. I joked, “Well he is probably sitting beside you and not standing in front of you.” She laughed, and after awhile we hugged and parted ways.

That conversation has been on my mind for the last few days. I don’t know what to say. My heart says to stick around ‘cause she makes me feel better about myself. I laugh and smile more when I am around her. I think of her constantly. We click really well. Everything seems so right. We have both confessed to “liking” each other multiple times. I guess my question is A) do I wait it out and see where it goes? or B) Just stay friends, be there for her when she needs me, and ;eave it at that? Or is there a 3rd option?

Sincerely,

Confused in Texas

A: I believe in romance, but I’m definitely not a hopeless romantic. It’s lovely that you two click, enjoy each others company, and that you think of her often. She certainly seems to acknowledge that you are good and caring, and are an overall “good guy.” However, I think that her statement regarding not knowing when “it’s right in front of her face” is a very big clue as to what to do…

Humans crave comfort, love, and support. We long to be safe, warm, well fed, and secure. When it comes to a partner, these items are usually high on the list of “wants.” The rules of relationships are simple (although in practice, it’s never easy to follow them). If someone “wants” you, they will let you know. There should be no question as to whether or not they like what you are offering, and want it in their life.

From where I’m sitting, it looks like you are prepared to provide, or work together to have all of those things, and yet, she is not running into your arms, and accepting comfort, love, and support from you. She is resistant to your good nature and care. Pay attention to that! I believe that ultimately, our fate is our own. For her to believe that things will go wrong because they “always do” indicates that she has a pattern of this in her life. She is the common denominator in those situations. (Now, I should point out that I’m in no way implying that people deserve everything they get. However, when it comes to life patterns and negative experiences, we have the power to change them for the better.)

Fear is not positive. It holds people back, and prevents them from experiencing, embracing and enjoying good things. She is scared she will miss out on a great guy, yet you are right next to her! You could be all that she wants and more, but if she is too scared to go for it, you will be left waiting, and in the end, heart broken.

In answer to your question, I think there is a third option! I believe you should take all your goodness, care and support, and find someone who sees it, wants it, and embraces it. What could make you feel better about yourself than that?

Standing up for ourselves is never easy, but I really do think you can do better.

Good luck!

Tita

***


[Setsuka in Samadhi]

Q: I’m a 26-year old male, and my dilemma is that I’m shy. What is the best way in your opinion for a guy to judge a girls interest? There is a girl who works at a diner near my work. I see her every morning. She rushes to serve me before any of the other girls can. Am I right in thinking her actions are a sign she may be interested in me? I wish everything was as simple as working on my car LOL. I feel like if I make an ass out of myself by asking her if she wants to catch up, it may jeopardize my breakfast ritual – and that would be bad! Hope I’m not being an uber creep.

A: First of all, women are all about body language. We like to drop subtle hints to let people know we are interested. Usually it involves smiling, joking, laughing, and subtle touches like on the hand or shoulder. It seems like she may have interest in you but it’s hard to say as an outsider. There is of course a chance that she is being overly friendly since you are a regular and she might be trying to get a good tip, but do you really want to let that stand in your way? I think you would regret not asking her out more than being turned down. You only live once so take the chance and ask her to coffee or something simple!

Good luck!
Setsuka
Xoxo

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

Neonomicon Collected
Dec 2011 12

Neonomicon Collected

Posted In Blog,Books,Comics,Entertainment

by Mentalrage

Independent publisher Avatar Press founded in the early 90′s has built up quite a reputation both for it’s stable of Bad Girl comics like Pandora, Shi, and a recently rejuvenated Lady Death (via their Boundless imprint), but also more prominently as being the home of numerous creator-owned titles by some of the most high profile names in comics, with Warren Ellis, Garth Ennis, David Lapham, and others being given free reign to tell stories with no restrictions. Another name in their cadre of writers is Alan Moore.

Alan Moore is probably amongst the most deified of scribes in the whole comics medium. He generally shuns the mainstream media and only gives interviews when it suits his purpose for publicizing a project of some sort . Whilst he may be best known for high profile works like V For Vendetta and Watchmen, his latest work for Avatar, Neonomicon, comes from another realm entirely.

Brears and Lamper are two FBI agents are tasked with investigating a series of bizarre ritual murders that are somehow connected to the final case of Aldo Sax. Sax, formerly one of the FBI’s top agents, is now languishing in a maximum security facility after being convicted of numerous killings. After a frustrating interview with Sax, where he speaks only in a guttural inhuman tongue, the pair find themselves drawn to a seedy rock club and an occult book shop. Trying to make sense of the bizarre turn of events they find themselves caught up in, nothing prepares them for the sanity shattering truth that lies behind it all.

In a rare interview, Moore spoke with Wired about Neonomicon, and had this to say:

Funnily enough, that is one of the most unpleasant things I have ever written…With Neonomicon, because I was in a very misanthropic state due to all the problems we had been having, I probably wasn’t at my most cheery. So Neonomicon is very black, and I’m only using “black” to describe it because there isn’t a darker color.

Neonomicon is probably amongst the most disturbingly misanthropic works you could read and will no doubt take a lot of readers by surprise especially considering that the book itself doesn’t feature an explicit content advisory. Consider yourself warned.

Taking the mythos of H.P. Lovecraft, and adding in all the things that Lovecraft himself only made veiled references to, the “nameless rites” are rendered in disturbing clarity by Burrows refined art. I imagine a good number of readers will share the practically blind Brears’ sense of disbelief after putting in her contacts and seeing with her own eyes the ugly truth for the first time.

Her reaction to this is portrayed in stages as she retreats into her own mind to escape from the horror of it, but then a more begrudging acceptance materializes, influenced by a briefly alluded to past and possibly a manifestation of Stockholm Syndrome.

Burrows has already had plenty of experience in depicting disturbing imagery working on Crossed with Garth Ennis (also from Avatar), but I think in comparison to the constant desensitizing bombardment of atrocities seen in Crossed, his work here is given even more punch due to the relative brevity of things.

Undoubtedly Neonomicon will get dismissed by some out of hand just due to its graphic content, and it will no doubt rile some Lovecraft fans for depicting that which Lovecraft merely suggested. But for all its dark and disturbing glory, Moore is still an excellent writer and his meta-fictional treatment of Lovecraft is impressive. There’s plenty going on beneath the surface, looking at language, how we interpret it, and the perception of reality. One scene involving Johnny Carcosa is a brilliant example of this and would be unachievable in any other medium. Throw in some pitch black humor and a few turned-on-their-heads clichés, along with a brutal gut punch of an ending, which makes you want to read it all over again and Neonomicon stays with you long after you’ve made it to the back cover.

Originally a four-part comic book series, Neonomicon is now available as a single hardcover volume.

From The Archives: Derek Grant of Alkaline Trio
Dec 2011 12

From The Archives: Derek Grant of Alkaline Trio

Posted In Blog,Entertainment,Interviews,Music

by Daniel Robert Epstein


“I wear makeup and I’’m not afraid to wear women’s clothes so I guess that definitely had an impact on me.”
- Derek Grant of Alkaline Trio

Alkaline Trio is the kickass band made up of Dan Andriano, Derek Grant and Matt Skiba. They just got the song, “We Can Never Break Up,” on an episode of the horror anthology series Masters of Horror. That song is included on the Masters of two disc CD soundtrack along with some amazing musicians as Buckethead, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Matchbook Romance, and many more.

Read our exclusive interview with Derek Grant of Alkaline Trio on SuicideGirls.com.

Tease of the Day
Dec 2011 12

Tease of the Day

Posted In Blog,Tease

Friskey Suicide in Josephine

  • MAKES ME HAPPY: Kittens, squirrels, children, back rubs, and tickles.
  • MAKES ME SAD: Sick kittens and assholes.
  • HOBBIES: Zombie making, printmaking, picture taking, and yoga.
  • 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Camera, computer, bike, chocolate, and kitten love.
  • VICES: Living life luxuriously on credit, chocolate, a messy room, and Dirty Old Men.

Get to know Friskey better over at SuicideGirls.com!